Clay
Approval Rating:
51.00%
Sentences: 331
Joined: January 4, 2008
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Sentences
Léon (The Professional)
There must be some area where Natalie Portman is not cooler than me; but after we cross off marrying into the Skywalker clan, rapping on SNL, doing a guest spot on the Simpsons, and in this movie charming an assassin there isn't much left on the list.
The Virgin Suicides
Just to share some research with everyone: asking "were they virgins because they committed suicide or did they commit suicide because they were virgins" is not a very effective pick-up line on most women.
Lost in Translation
Apparently language barriers, culture clash, and lack of geographic proximity shouldn't receive nearly as much blame for keeping people apart as mismatched sleep schedules.
Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
I can't wait to be a big movie star like Ben Stiller so I can get cut a check for beaning my wife upside the head.
Spider-man
It's nice to see Sam Raimi getting back to his Evil Dead roots with his vision of a Peter Parker who gets bit on the hand by a radioactive spider then replaces said hand with a chainsaw that shoots webbing.
Shooter
I didn't realize until I sat down to write this that the message of this movie is a group of men who are above the U.S. legal system is a conspiracy, while an individual who is above the U.S. legal system is a hero.
Children of Men
When women mysteriously become infertile, mankind loses all hope for the future and no longer sees the point in striving to make technological advancements with the sole exception of nearly holographic computer screens.
The Illusionist
This movie is 90% summer blockbuster that needs a visual montage at the end of the movie to explain what characters were doing when the camera wasn’t on them and 10% amateur film that leaves you scratching your head, trying to piece together the rules by which this fictional universe operates.
Click
I don't even remember what Christopher Walken is like when he isn't portraying a nut job.
X-Men: The Last Stand
Dear Mr. Bryan Singer, I hope it was worth leaving the franchise to direct Superman Returns because your successor provided us a movie that was decent, but nowhere near the caliber of your forays into the Marvel Universe.


