Sage
Approval Rating:
57.51%
Sentences: 183
Joined: March 13, 2008
Sentences
Monster
Because hiring pretty, expensive actresses and turning them ugly is much better then hiring good, ugly actresses.
John Tucker Must Die
The movie promises a public execution, fails to deliever, but you still make use of the motion-sickness bag nonetheless.
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
Everybody sing: this is the fight that doesn't end; it just goes on, and on my friend...
Running with Scissors
Maybe this movie is supposed to make you feel better about yourself, but then you remember you're actually watching it.
Wedding Crashers
New wedding crasher rule: when attempting to steal the target honey from the altar, don't make it sound like an ackward middle-schooler asking his first crush on a date.
Spider-man 3
Comicbook movie math is your friend; a film can only support two main baddies per installment and still be excellent, mess with that number and you never measure up (ala Batman & Robin).
The Number 23
If Jim Carrey wasn't a little bonkers to begin with, we've apparently found what it takes to push him over the edge.
Shallow Hal
When the magic-meter runs out for skinny Paltrow, so does Hollywood's care for an ending without a skinny Paltrow.
