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Sage

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Approval Rating: 57.10%
Sentences: 153
Joined: March 13, 2008

Sentences

Poster for Fifth Element

Fifth Element
Everyone say it with me now; Multipass!

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Poster for Ocean's Thirteen

Ocean's Thirteen
Following John Travolta in the Punisher, and others, Al Pacino's hair out-bads everything he does in the movie.

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Poster for Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer

Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer
Six seasons of cable television for Michael Chiklis to build an incredible badass rep, two films to knock it down.

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Poster for Speed Racer

Speed Racer
Somewhere in Japan a child is having an epileptic seizure, and he hasn't even seen the movie yet.

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Poster for Clerks II

Clerks II
Interspecies erotica is this year's snowballing.

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Poster for Cars

Cars
While a Pixar movie is no small blot on a resume, if these are the role choices Owen Wilson is making, no wonder he had a breakdown.

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Poster for Raiders of the Lost Ark

Raiders of the Lost Ark
There is no greater achievement for an action hero, ever, then when he is so badass he will just pull out his gun and shoot you, instead of going through the motions of an unneeded sword fight.

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Poster for Shooter

Shooter
Sitting through this, I can't help but feel that the writers thought they were writing the next Jason Bourne movie with a poor man's Matt Damon.

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Poster for Baby Mama

Baby Mama
If the point of this was to prove that women too can make bad buddy-comedies as well/bad as men, congradulations.

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Poster for Iron Man

Iron Man
Take all the realism of Batman Begins, but without the quick-cut editing and unbelievible love interest, plus the comicbook fun and excitment of Spider-Man, minus the talkytalky script and actors who try just a little to hard; dice, blend, encase in metal, chug, repeat.

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