Single Sentence
Movie Review

Across the Universe
You feel slightly dirty when you see a strawberry, and don't know why.

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Howard the Duck
Hot woman on duck action wouldn't even make it in a porno, let alone a full theatrical release.

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Smart People
Waitaminute, these people are talking big words but acting like idiooooh I get it, the title is supposed to be ironic .

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Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil
The statue is weighing its options: see this movie with Clint Eastwood as the director or spend the money on a Clint Eastwood movie without him as the director.

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The Blair Witch Project
To build suspense, some directors like to keep the monster out of sight; they did that instead with the suspense and forgot about the monster.

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Jaws
Spielberg went with the excellent idea of never showing his never-believable mechanical shark, ended with the thought/hope that good movies don't need sequel, but still caved to studio thought that action movies must "go boom" at some point.

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Léon (The Professional)
Never mess with a hitman's twelve-year old love interest.

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Kingdom of Heaven
To get to heaven, one must kill many people.

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Beowulf
Beowulf proves how fallible man truly is when faced with a dripping, golden Angelina Jolie.

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Eagle Eye
This was a better plot back when it was Enemy of the State .

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